Ep.088: Joe Dobbins on healing from church hurt.
Many people who leave the church cite “church hurt” as one of their reasons. What is it?
In this episode of the Mercycast, host Raleigh Sadler discusses the topic of church hurt with the author, Joe Dobbins. Together, they explore the experiences of individuals who have been wounded emotionally in places of worship and the impact it has on their faith. Joe shares his motivation for writing the book Hope After Church Hurt: How to Heal, Re-engage, and Rediscover God's Heart for You and highlights the need to address the issue of church hurt within faith communities. They discuss the various forms of church hurt, including judgmentalism, wounding with words, rejection, disappointment with toxic leaders, and even sexual abuse. Joe emphasizes the importance of recognizing and labeling the specific hurts individuals have experienced to begin the healing process. They also discuss the role of forgiveness, releasing pain to Christ, and restoring God's authority over one's pain as essential steps toward healing. In this conversation, Joe Dobbins and Raleigh explore three critical steps in healing: restoring God's authority, releasing pain to Christ, and refusing to carry resentment. They emphasize the importance of reframing our stories and seeing our experiences help others. They also discuss the challenges of re-engaging with the faith community and offer advice on setting boundaries and finding a healthy church. If you have faced church hurt or know someone who has, please consider listening to this episode.
Highlights and takeaways from the conversation:
Church hurt is a real and significant issue that many people have experienced, leading to feelings of being unsafe in a place where they should feel safe.
Recognizing and labeling the specific hurts individuals have experienced is essential to beginning the healing process.
Restoring God's authority over one's pain, releasing pain to Christ, and choosing to forgive are essential steps toward healing.
Churches and pastors should be trauma-informed and create a safe and supportive environment for those who have experienced church hurt.
Healing from church hurt is a holistic process that involves addressing the emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects of one's life. It involves restoring God's authority, releasing pain to Christ, and refusing to carry resentment.
Reframing our stories allows us to find purpose in our pain and use our experiences to help others.
Re-engaging with the faith community requires setting boundaries and taking baby steps to rebuild trust.
Finding a healthy church involves seeking God's guidance and being open to where His peace leads us.
God desires to heal and comfort those who have experienced church hurt.
"Church hurt, experiencing spiritual abuse, really feeling unsafe in a place where we should feel safe? It can be a hard topic to discuss because a lot of us want to pretend that it doesn't happen."
"Church hurt is so unique... It's one thing to go into the battle and be wounded. It's another thing to retreat to a sanctuary and be wounded."
"Our story doesn't just stop with us, but it gets redeemed until it helps someone else."
"Take baby steps, little by little, to re-engage with the faith community."
Listen to the full episode:
Find everything you need about Joe Dobbins on JoeDobbins.org. Get his brand new book, Hope after Church Hurt: How to Heal, Reengage, and Rediscover God's Heart for You.
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For more conversations like this one, check out my book, Vulnerable: Rethinking Human Trafficking.